Sleepless in Virginia!

 It's strange, I can't sleep well for several nights. Its stance because I normally sleep so well but I do not know recently I can not sleep well... 4 hours sleepless last night and the same and even worst tonight... almost morning ... :(

Freedom?!

 Finally my green card got approved, after 6 years... seems more like a joke. The immigration system is so inhuman, I guess when you leave your country for any reason and entering to undefined territory of immigrant/ refugee, you sign up for inhuman treatment and that happened no matter which geography you are entering. I know this from close people experiences. 

I wish our world was better places and politician did better jobs handling international relations ...

Sunday nights ...

 Sunday nights are heavier that other nights. You do not have any specific thing to do. It's too soon for some activities and too late for others. Normally I am in social media, read, watch my favorite TV series or new movie. 

Sunday nights are a laud quiet time, your failures and blanks come to you and shout in your face, too hard to miss them.

Starting agin ... failing again ...

 The only noise you can hear in this neighborhood is the sound of lawn mowers or cleaners that come so often. For the other times is just constant silence and if the parking lot and cars was not there, you could assume not so much people living here. 

 I miss being close to someone. Someone that not to think if I am touching them is appropriate or not. someone that I sleep beside and woke up. Someone to fight and know they are coming back home for dinner and their stuff is there. I can see their cloths in the closet and their choose and their hairbrush. 

someone that I tell them about my day and complain about other people to them and they listen and move on.

I miss being close to someone... and I am. not sure if I ever had that

It was not love in the first sight

 First time I entered to U.S it was Dallas airport in Virginia. I still can fee the rain and fresh air of that Friday morning. It was so early morning and I was so exhausted and jet lag -I had no idea about it at the time- I arrived to hotel and saw Tom in the lobby that I might look so miserable that he asked me to go to my room and sleep and skip our meeting with Hilary Clinton and I did :)))

I hated the U.S. I simply wanted to finish my trip and go back home- Kabul. I missed the Persian new year celebration because of time difference and I slept for almost 18 hours after that trip to recover. 

Today I was thinking that I am in love with DC and U.S. I rather not to be in any other city in the world. I am in love with this tiny powerful, layered, melted city. It seems like the city doesn't belong to anyone and there is no main culture for it. So much layers that I doubt I will ever go to the bottom of it. 

Friday thoughts

I am trying to put Kabul behind and move on but Kabul started to live in us and move inside of us. Kabul is not a physical place anymore, its a concept, lifestyle and our lost loves and we can't move on and forget it.